THE OPPOSITE OF EVERYTHING by David Kalish

Opposite Here’s the gist:  Four months after he gets married, a nice Jewish boy in New York receives a diagnosis of thyroid cancer — but it’s the GOOD kind, the kind that can be cured.  Cancer has a good kind?  Who knew. But don’t get too happy.  He has surgery to remove it, but the fates are not with him.  The surgeon informs him on his follow-up visit that it turns out NOT to be the good kind of cancer, but a very BAD kind of cancer.  The kind that CAN’T be cured. Oy vey.  His new bride, doing the only thing she can think of to support him,, tries to put him on a vegan diet and stocks up on alternative health supplements in a possibly misguided effort to ramp up his immune system.   And for which he deeply resents her.   This brings to mind that old saying, “Nobody is loved the way they want to be loved.”

His shiny new marriage disintegrates,  and his self-centered dad who is more interested in his own divorced dating life than in helping his son, takes him to a seedy Catskills Jewish resort for a singles weekend.  Dad hits a homerun during the weekend, but our protagonist, deep in his new  black goth fashion style, holes up in his room.   The two argue over music choices, with dad, natch preferring ‘old fart music’ and our boy preferring heavy metal.  On the way home, stuck in a surreal unmoving traffic jam on the George Washington Bridge, they continue to argue over their music preferences, and in a fit of pique, dad tosses his son’s  heavy metal CD up, up and away, where it improbably lands on a railing of the bridge catwalk.  Our boy jumps out of the car to retrieve it.  We forgive him this adolescent move (he’s thirty something) because he’s got incurable cancer, for cripe’s sake, where’s your compassion?  and watch horrified as he climbs over the railing in a precarious position to grab his CD.  Dad, seeing the nightmare unfolding, rushes to help his son, inadvertently pushing said son over the edge,  in a free fall to the drink below.

Makes ya stop and think, don’t it.

The blub says In the darkly comedic tradition of Philip Roth and Lorrie Moore comes a new novel from author David Kalish, who draws us into a hilarious, off-kilter world.    Well, I’ve never liked Philip Roth all that much, not being into self-absorbed ruminations of a self-deprecating nature,  pace Woody Allen,  and now I was interested in seeing  just where an author can go with cancer jokes.   The blurb notwithstanding, I found it not at all hilarious.  I did not LOL.   There were no cancer jokes,  just likable people in pain struggling to get their feet under them in a world suddenly turned upside down for them.  I found it a beautiful, compelling and wistful examination of our expectations and relationships, all wrapped up in a story about a guy with essentially no life expectancy, trying in a quirky off-beat way,  to change his remaining lifespan by doing everything the opposite of the way he has always done things.   I loved that.  I loved that he wasn’t trying to miraculously cure his disease by some magical means, but was trying to redo his life.  He believes that

sometimes you need to do the opposite of the expected, do the opposite of the opposite, which is actually the same.

Yeah.  Sometimes you do.

So does our boy end up in the river?  Does his cancer go into remission?   Does he get a call from the oncologist saying it was all a mistake?  Does he make up with his father?  His mother?  Does he find true love?

You people keep expecting me to tell you the whole story so you don’t have to read it yourselves.  Pfffft.   Go read it, you’ll plotz.  Really.  You’ll love it.

Here’s some links to his stuff.

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4 comments on “THE OPPOSITE OF EVERYTHING by David Kalish

  1. David Kalish says:

    You taught me about my own book, Marti, and expressed some things I’ve been thinking about for a long time. Thank you for your honesty, and your engaging writing style. — Dave Kalish

  2. Toby Lorber says:

    Just ro be sure, The Opposite of Everything cannot be purchased until March? Is it possible to order a copy now? As a writer myself, I do not read as much as I ought to…except when I read about a book that truly gets my inner attention…(-as yours does) ..and it’s not because I believe I knew your parents, Al “albie” and Phyllis…and Robert and Shari as well. This was a very long time ago (SGS bungalows Swan Lake) yet I am pretty sure I am correct: the photo of Shari convinced me and I recognized her at once.
    I am very happy and excited for your success!
    With warm regards,

    Toby Lorber
    Massapequa, New York

    • Toby Lorber says:

      P.S. I look forward to reading your work.

    • David Kalish says:

      Hi Toby, great to hear from you. It’s been such a long long time. How did you track me down? In fact, you can now purchase the book on Amazon!

      click on this link: http://amzn.to/IEvXtn

      Just keep in mind that the book, while “inspired” by events and people in my life, is fiction. You’ll see what I mean once you read it.

      If you like what you read, please consider leaving a customer review on Amazon. Also, I’ll holding a signing at the Book Revue in Huntington, Long Island, at 7 p.m. on Tuesday, April 22. Be great to see you there, along with your friends and family.

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