BOB THE VALENTINE by Jamie Johnesse

BobYa gotta love a dead guy who is still trying to get a date.  Ya gotta admire his stick-to-itiveness and persistence.  When one is a zombie, of course, one’s options are limited as to who would be willing to go out with one, being confined mostly to other undead.   But having a positive outlook is the way to go  if one wants to get ahead — or even have a pleasant un-life– in the world of the undead, indeed as it is in any variety of existence.

Meet Bob, one of the zombies in the city just trying to get by, have a nice existence, and date what passes these days for a pretty girl.  But as Bob tells us,

You wouldn’t believe how difficult dating is when you’re dead and decomposing.

Yeah, I can see where that might pose to others an insurmountable obstacle.  But not to our protagonist.  He manages to score a date with his crush, makes a reservation at an upscale restaurant, and even hires a limo!   And in his excitement and rush to get ready for his date, his arm falls off, (apparently unstable body parts being a zombie occupational hazard) but it didn’t faze him, and as he  tells us

                                   I was in such a rush to finish dressing that I stapled it on backwards at first.  We (he and his buddy Face) had to cut it off using a spare machete and reattach it.

Staplers being the zombie surgical instrument of choice, it does make you seriously consider the cost of health care today in the United States, doesn’t it, as picking up a few staplers at Office Depot seems so much cheaper than the multimillion dollar equipment in use by the medical establishment of the normal world.

These ‘supers’, including vampires and other creatures, try to live under the radar, as it were, living among the living undetected.  But Bob contemplates the issue of coming out to the world, which he refers to as ‘coming out from under the bed.’  He would like the freedom to live openly and in peace.

Indeed.  As do we all.

This is the third story in Bob’s trajectory, and a delightful one it is.  It is short, only 39 pages, so that makes it … what?  A longish story?  A shortish novella?   Whatever.   The other titles are:  Bob The Zombie, and Bob The Sequel.

I love Bob.  If I were a zombie, I would totally go out with him.


One comment on “BOB THE VALENTINE by Jamie Johnesse

  1. Phoghat says:

    Even though I’m sick to death of anything Zombie, this book was well written, and funny as hell

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