FOREVER DOOMED by MaryAnn Kempher

Forever_Doomed_ebook_amazon_BrighterForever is a cruise ship, albeit a smallish one, carrying usually about 3,000 souls.   (You do know that airplanes and ships carry souls, and not people, right?   Don’t ask me why.  Do I look like Google to you?)    It does a variety of cruises, some only a few days, others much longer.   We come on board with a group of people who are accompanying a young man and woman who plan to get married while on the month-long cruise.  How cool is that!

Jack Harney is a cop in Tampa,  and gets a leave from the force in order to sub on the cruise ship for about two months for  his friend who is head of security for the ship.

OK, all that is simple enough, but now it gets complicated with a cast of a kabillion.  Let’s see, we have Jack, his ex-girlriend Amy and her BFF Katherine.  We have the soon-to-be bride Sophia and her bestie Kimy, (a slimy creature and frankly one that makes you raise your eyebrows as to why they are friends), we have the soon-to-be groom Alex and his brother Scott.   Kimy is Scott’s ex-girlfriend, another eyebrow-raiser,  like eeeuuu, we have Scott’s current girlfriend, who is Katherine.   We have Scott and Alex’s mother who dislike Katherine.  I think I am forgetting someone in that crowd.  Maybe it will come to me.

Now we have the other members of the security force, JoJo and Bobby in particular, a couple of bozos which makes one wonder WTH they employment office was thinking when they hired them,  we have the Captain,  we have the pint-size owner of the ship, Mr. Small (yeah, cute name, right?)  we have a stripper hired for the bachelor party, we have a woman and her acquaintance from work,  we have a couple of funny old ladies, we have Chef Phillipe who is a participant in the bake off contest which will happen during the cruise.  Oh, I didn’t mention the bakery competition?  As if the wedding weren’t enough.

(Are you getting all this?  Want to open up an Excel spreadsheet?  I’ll wait. )

Now the mystery part.  One of the crew disappears.   Blood is found in the kitchen.  The stripper’s cake disappears, the one she is supposed to jump out of.  One of the passengers is found dead on the Lido Deck?  I think it was the Lido Deck.   The owner is about to lose his mind and is desperate for a solution.  They turn the ship around after only two weeks and head back to Florida so the police can take over the investigation.  Jack is trying to find out who dunnit,  when another person falls into the elevator shaft and    eeeuuuu I don’t even want to think about it.

So we have a lot of somewhat high-schooley drama with all those interrelated people and their exes, you know — who doesn’t like who, and who is trying to get into who’s knickers, and who is mad at whom — stuff like that,  which pretty much has nothing to do with the murders, and we have the murders,  and all in all, there is a lot going on.  And you will never guess whodunnit.

But it does keep you turning pages, that’s for sure!


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