WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, DIE by Amanda M. Lee

Who What Die

Something of a mystery, but that is not the main thrust of the book. The main thrust of the book is how cute and clever and badass the star is. Avery is a journalist for a small town newspaper. The town is located near Detroit, Michigan, and is within a group of small former suburbs of the decaying city.

We learn that 27-year-old Avery has been a badass since high school, where she developed a passion for Star Wars and all things techno and geeky. She became engaged to be engaged to a nice guy two years older than her, and who signed up for a stint in the military after graduation high school, whereupon she broke up with him. When he came back, his sheriff father died, and he ran for his father’s office and won. Avery went on to college where she proceeded to screw a great number of the male students, developed her nascent abrasive personality, honing it to the fine edge she possesses when we meet her in what appears to be the first volume of a series.

We learn that she has a large and very eccentric family who own a restaurant in a town about an hour away. Avery has a house in a less good part of town, but we never learn just how she got the money for it nor how she pays the mortgage, because small town newspapers aren’t known for their big salaries. Oh, well, just suspend disbelief for a while, OK?

After reporting on a guy who lost his job with the water board in this economically distressed area, where jobs are disappearing faster than snowflakes on a hot sidewalk, and who was dancing naked in his apartment waving a gun, she starts getting threatening notes, and a car actually tried to run her down, so her sheriff non-boyfriend suggests she get a gun. Yeah, there’s a good idea. This flighty, aggressive, mouthy woman whose big goal in life is to get out of working too hard, should have a gun. The stupidity factor is beginning to mount, but I am still dutifully suspending disbelief, because chick lit, right? She sees a pawn shop and goes in, surprised at how bright and interesting it is, her ideas of pawn shops having come solely from old noir flicks. And who should be running the joint but a big hunky handsome single guy. Who of course is immediately interested in her. He picks out a suitable gun for her, and she has to wait 3 days for the background check. He asks her out to dinner, but she can’t go, she has a ticket to a Star Wars symphony concert.

While attending the concert she accidentally bumps into a fan dressed as Lando Calrisian. She apologizes, and gives him her card. And who should appear but the pawn shop guy. Can you say stalking, boys and girls? But see, this is the difference between chick lit and real life. In real life, if everywhere you go some hunky guy you met at a store seems to be there, you would get all creeped out because handsome or no, stalking is creepy. But in chick lit, it is cutesy and charming and we all think, oooooh, he really likes her.

So, anyway, a fight breaks out between ummm I don’t know, one group of fan types and another group of fan types, the cops come and break it up, headed by her non-boyfriend sheriff, and he and the pawn shop guy get into some male posturing because testosterone is SOOO attractive.

One evening shortly after the concert, she discovers someone prowling around her front porch, crouched down by the steps. She figures he is planting a bomb, what with the threats and all, goes out the back door, grabs a shovel, and whacks him in the head, knocking him out. She calls the cops, and when they arrive, find the intruder is not dead, and is…… Lando, leaving a bouquet of flowers.

And so it goes, with her being just so adorable as the female version of a douche, the several Lotharios doing Lothario things, the mystery gets solved, but I do have to say to her credit, she saves herself from a bad situation, she didn’t have to be saved by the knights errant.

Final rating: **** if you like chick lit.

** if you picked up the book by mistake thinking it was an Agatha Christie book

 

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